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EMILIA

A monologue.

​

Written by Francesca Marcolina

Emilia.

Bassano.

Twenty-seven.

Guilty of /

Guilty /

Of /

To thine own self be true.

I broke a promise I made a long time ago.

I broke it the first time I believed it was right for my thoughts not to be heard.

Can any of you tell me who is born to rule and who is born to obey?

Have not both men and women flesh and blood?

I only asked to be listened to.

But why should I feel I need to ask for permission?

I have thoughts, I have words, I have feelings.

rule

thoughts

obey

blood

flesh

feelings

promise

heard

words

To kill your husband means to be a traitor.

I would say I could be accused of that. Treason.

To myself. For all these years.

I only wanted to speak. I wanted to say out loud that my Lady had been wronged.

She was innocent and her love had been ruined by jealousy.

My husband fed that jealousy and made love rotten.

My Lady had a handkerchief which she had been given to by her love.

I picked up that handkerchief she dropped by chance one day and gave it to my husband.

And he used that love token to pursue his vile, treacherous plan.

My Lady has been killed by the man she loved, and it was too late for me to save her. 

When I went into her room it was too late.

Then my husband ran into the room and by his look I knew. I knew he had been behind all this.

So I started to speak.

Treason

speak

innocent

love

handkerchief

treacherous

killed

speak

rotten

speaking

He was holding the dagger in his hands. He was coming towards me and tried to hit me.

But I kept speaking.

And then he did it again.

And I kept speaking.

And then he furiously came towards me and…

He dropped the dagger

I just /

I /

I picked it up.

And I just heard

Blade against flesh.

He looked at me. He didn’t speak. I didn’t close my eyes.

I looked back at him.

speaking

Blade

flesh

betrayed

My hands betrayed the man who was said to be my master.

You may think mine was revenge, but it is not as simple as that. 

His death did not satisfy me or set me free. 

Hate did not bring me here where I am now.

I loved him.

But then I pleased him to be loved in return.

Have you ever done this before?

How can it be that the person who hurts you is the one you worship?

When I took that handkerchief I saw something. I felt it, and I knew I was wrong.

And still I obeyed what I was supposed to do.

To be ruled and obey.

I nothing but to please his fantasy.

I have said this. I believed it.

But when an idea is so anchored deep down into you, it gets too dark all around.

master

ruled

obey

revenge

Hate

loved

hurts

worship

I nothing but to please his fantasy

dark

deep

But there is something that is constantly moving inside me.

Deep down

There’s a light

Fire.

Sometimes little sparks slip away. They reach out the surface and if you allow them to stay alive, then you can make a difference.

sparks

moving

light

Fire

difference

alive

She once asked me if I knew any woman who would do such a thing as to abuse her husband.

I saw the fear of going against the rules such as to feel free to express

Passions, desires, needs.

Some beliefs are so rooted into us that we don’t even realise how much we are ruled by them.

Men should not be our guardians, our masters.

How can we think something that has been imposed belongs to the natural course of life?
I have
learnt how to be silent, how to choke back that light, swallow my thoughts that wanted to be heard.

rules

feel

Passions, desires, needs.

rooted

ruled

imposed

learnt

silent

choke

swallow

But I wanted to speak the truth

I wanted to make everyone understand.

speak

truth

So come my soul to bliss as I speak true.

So, speaking as I think, I die?

I am not here to beg for my life to be spared,

I only ask to be listened to and to let my spark not die with me today.

spark

to be listened to

speaking as I think

So come my soul to bliss as I speak true

What?

I, peace?

No, I will speak as liberal as the north.

Let heaven, and men, and devils

Let them all

All

All cry shame against me, yet I’ll speak.

Actions lead to consequences

The ills we do, their ills instruct us so.

My words will bring consequences

My fire is till here..

Yours,

Is right there

It’s flowing into your bodies and it can be set free and make a difference

Let my spark ignite your thoughts

Let your spark evolve into fire.

speak

liberal

men

devils

heaven

all

All

shame

speak

Actions

consequences

The ills we do, their ills instruct us so.

words

fire

flowing

free

make a difference

ignite

thoughts

spark

fire

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