EMILIA
A monologue.
​
Written by Francesca Marcolina
Emilia.
Bassano.
Twenty-seven.
Guilty of /
Guilty /
Of /
To thine own self be true.
I broke a promise I made a long time ago.
I broke it the first time I believed it was right for my thoughts not to be heard.
Can any of you tell me who is born to rule and who is born to obey?
Have not both men and women flesh and blood?
I only asked to be listened to.
But why should I feel I need to ask for permission?
I have thoughts, I have words, I have feelings.
rule
thoughts
obey
blood
flesh
feelings
promise
heard
words
To kill your husband means to be a traitor.
I would say I could be accused of that. Treason.
To myself. For all these years.
I only wanted to speak. I wanted to say out loud that my Lady had been wronged.
She was innocent and her love had been ruined by jealousy.
My husband fed that jealousy and made love rotten.
My Lady had a handkerchief which she had been given to by her love.
I picked up that handkerchief she dropped by chance one day and gave it to my husband.
And he used that love token to pursue his vile, treacherous plan.
My Lady has been killed by the man she loved, and it was too late for me to save her.
When I went into her room it was too late.
Then my husband ran into the room and by his look I knew. I knew he had been behind all this.
So I started to speak.
Treason
speak
innocent
love
handkerchief
treacherous
killed
speak
rotten
speaking
He was holding the dagger in his hands. He was coming towards me and tried to hit me.
But I kept speaking.
And then he did it again.
And I kept speaking.
And then he furiously came towards me and…
He dropped the dagger
I just /
I /
I picked it up.
And I just heard
Blade against flesh.
He looked at me. He didn’t speak. I didn’t close my eyes.
I looked back at him.
speaking
Blade
flesh
betrayed
My hands betrayed the man who was said to be my master.
You may think mine was revenge, but it is not as simple as that.
His death did not satisfy me or set me free.
Hate did not bring me here where I am now.
I loved him.
But then I pleased him to be loved in return.
Have you ever done this before?
How can it be that the person who hurts you is the one you worship?
When I took that handkerchief I saw something. I felt it, and I knew I was wrong.
And still I obeyed what I was supposed to do.
To be ruled and obey.
I nothing but to please his fantasy.
I have said this. I believed it.
But when an idea is so anchored deep down into you, it gets too dark all around.
master
ruled
obey
revenge
Hate
loved
hurts
worship
I nothing but to please his fantasy
dark
deep
But there is something that is constantly moving inside me.
Deep down
There’s a light
Fire.
Sometimes little sparks slip away. They reach out the surface and if you allow them to stay alive, then you can make a difference.
sparks
moving
light
Fire
difference
alive
She once asked me if I knew any woman who would do such a thing as to abuse her husband.
I saw the fear of going against the rules such as to feel free to express
Passions, desires, needs.
Some beliefs are so rooted into us that we don’t even realise how much we are ruled by them.
Men should not be our guardians, our masters.
How can we think something that has been imposed belongs to the natural course of life?
I have learnt how to be silent, how to choke back that light, swallow my thoughts that wanted to be heard.
rules
feel
Passions, desires, needs.
rooted
ruled
imposed
learnt
silent
choke
swallow
But I wanted to speak the truth
I wanted to make everyone understand.
speak
truth
So come my soul to bliss as I speak true.
So, speaking as I think, I die?
I am not here to beg for my life to be spared,
I only ask to be listened to and to let my spark not die with me today.
spark
to be listened to
speaking as I think
So come my soul to bliss as I speak true
What?
I, peace?
No, I will speak as liberal as the north.
Let heaven, and men, and devils
Let them all
All
All cry shame against me, yet I’ll speak.
Actions lead to consequences.
The ills we do, their ills instruct us so.
My words will bring consequences
My fire is till here..
Yours,
Is right there
It’s flowing into your bodies and it can be set free and make a difference
Let my spark ignite your thoughts
Let your spark evolve into fire.
speak
liberal
men
devils
heaven
all
All
shame
speak
Actions
consequences
The ills we do, their ills instruct us so.
words
fire
flowing
free
make a difference
ignite
thoughts
spark
fire